Lessons my father taught me are worth sharing

By David Suzuki and Faisal Moola

Now in the seventh decade of my life, I look back at the world of my childhood, with its shared phone lines, ice boxes, radio soap operas, and no television, and it seems like an ancient, lost civilization. And yet the ideas and values I learned as a child seem every bit as important for today’s youth, for whom rappers, billionaires, and movie stars are role models.

When I was a boy, my father was a bigger-than-life figure, a wonderful storyteller who enchanted people with his outgoing personality. He was my hero. He took me camping and fishing and instilled in me a love of nature and the outdoors. When he came home from work, he always asked me what I had learned in school, and as I recounted my lessons, he seemed genuinely interested, often amplifying my information or correcting me. I loved those sessions, and I now realize that he was reinforcing my education by making me recount what I had learned.

Dad was my biggest booster, but he was also my harshest critic. When I began in television, he followed everything I did. More than once when he couldn’t follow my narrative, he would call and bawl me out: “If I can’t understand what you are saying, how do you expect someone who doesn’t know you at all to follow your ideas?” To this day, I think of my father as my audience whenever I prepare a script or write a book.

My mother was the rock-solid foundation of the family. She was the first up in the morning and the last to bed at night, but unlike Dad, she did it quietly. I only understood how important she was as she developed Alzheimer’s disease and I watched Dad struggle to fill her shoes. I begged him to allow me to hire help for him, but he declined. “She gave her all for me,” he said, “and it’s my turn to pay her back.”

Both of my parents are now dead, and in my own dotage, I think about the important lessons I want to pass on to my children and grandchildren – and I realize they are the same lessons I got from Dad. I can’t help thinking they are not quaint ideas from the past but very modern ones that we need desperately today.

“Respect your elders,” he told me.

“But Dad,” I protested, “Mr. Saita is a fool.”

“David,” Dad remonstrated, “he has lived a long life and has had experiences and thought about a lot of things you haven’t. I know he seems opinionated and stupid, but if you listen, even he can teach you something.”

“To do well in Canada as a Japanese-Canadian,” he said, “you have to work 10 times harder, you must be able to get up and speak extemporaneously, and you must be able to dance.” Fortunately, hard work was never an obstacle for me and I entered oratorical contests for which Dad drilled me in the art of public speaking. I never understood the dancing part and was not successful in that area.

“Whatever you do, do it with gusto. Don’t do it in a sloppy, half-hearted way but enthusiastically, whether it’s scrubbing the floors, picking cherries, or playing basketball. That’s how you get the most out of life.”

“We all need money for the necessities in life, but you don’t run after it as if money makes you a bigger or better man. If someone flashes his fancy new clothes or big car, pity him, because he has gone down the wrong road.”

“Live within your means.” This important lesson is embodied in the familiar expression “Save some for a rainy day.”

“You must stand up for what you believe in, but be prepared for people to be angry and to disagree. If you want to be liked by everyone, then you will stand for nothing.”

“You are what you do, not what you say.” Kids have a different way of saying this in their taunt, “All talk and no action.”
My mother also taught me useful homilies like “Always clean up your own mess,” “Be kind to animals,” and “Share; don’t be greedy.”

Today’s youth are bombarded with news about the antics of Lindsay Lohan, Amy Winehouse, and Jay-Z, and look to them for inspiration, but that’s all the more reason to listen to the words of our elders.

Take David Suzuki’s Nature Challenge and learn more at davidsuzuki.org.

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Thank you,

the article was really great indeed.

I think many of this lessons would be helpfull for many of us. Thanks for sharing this personal information.

Thank you for sharing this very inspiring post. I remember my father before he died, he has also taught me a lot of things that I will never forget.

At certain point of our lives recognized the value of the teachings we got from our parents. Sadly sometimes is to late to thank them for the patience they had with us.

We can learn many lessons from our elders and specifically our parents. I make sure I can learn all I can from them every day. I’m glad someone else thinks so to.

Thanks for sharing. I have the same with my father.

I’ve been reading your blog for quite a while. Thanks for sharing your thoughts. I wish i had time and patience to make a informative post like yours. A ton of information on all the states. Bookmarked your blog.

Will definitely be back more often....

Manish

Dear David Suzuki and Faisal Moola

What a wonderful man your father is. And, the way you write it’s obvious that you are also.

Love and blessings,
Raj

Thank for sharing of what your father brought you up. I will also do that for my two children. And I learn a lot from your story. Thanks and you can inspire more

Dian

Well written post!
I feel a bit nostalgic when you write about the time where the soaps were on the radio and there were no computers around!

Its a matter of great regret. Thanks for your sharing.

Hope you will recover. No doubt about that you face a big trouble.

I think your father is wonderful person. Every father should be like your father. Thanks for such a great post sharing with us.

Regards
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I think about the important lessons I want to pass on to my children and grandchildren – and I realize they are the same lessons I got from Dad. I can’t help thinking they are not quaint ideas from the past but very modern ones that we need desperately today.
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Sometimes parents can be very critical, I know my Dad is.  But, I guess that’s how we grow up and learn from our mistakes.  Sometimes it gets on your nerves that parents seem to always focus on your negative qualities, but I have learned from the past that helps you become a stronger person.  With todays social media and bad influences I think it’s getting harder.

@Erik, I totally agree with you, I know, because my parents are totally like that, all they see are things that you do wrong and doesn’t give time to even look at something good that you did. But I did not make this an issue against them, hey, their our parents, no matter how hard they are on you, they still love. They will always love you for what you are.

Thanks to them, I am happy where I am now.

I got to say this is a very nice article. Thanks for sharing this to us.

I too would like to share something my father taught me, “Always do good to others even if their not doing the same to you”. And I totally agree with my dad, because doing good deeds not only give happiness to other but they also give a sensational feeling to us and it is indeed very rewarding.

Thanks for sharing, I’m looking forward to reading another article from you.

This is such a wonderful post. I can relate to everything you said, that’s what I learned from my mom and dad too. They taught me everything, and I’m really grateful for that.

Thanks for sharing us these lesson from your father.

All father is a great person and he is a best friend forever.
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